cutofultimateBRILLIANCE:
picture taken from Soo Kee Singapore i do hope im not breaking any copy right laws so i dint modify this picture. hehs. i like this. but fat hope like i'll EVER get it. hahas. its pretty tho. =] veryy! and like the song dont you. =]
brilliant rose:
su-e; pronounced soo-yi; singapore; qnps; mbs; tns; rgs; gep; chess; interact; photog; richardsonian; pessimistic; avoidant; dependent; borderline; narcissistic; bad-tempered; hates self; hates two-facedness; absolutely hates unwarranted killing, blue framed glasses; short layered bob; blue adidas watch; 163.7cm; 48kg; loved =] ; 116066294; lostdelusion@hotmail.com; sign guestbook; blogs here too;
Cliques
Search SG
Caged In
Shadowed
dreamer
Jaded
Disturbed
rings of influence:
Adeline
; Aithne
; Azlyn
; Cedric
; Charlotte
; Chinnie
; Debbie
; Dee
; Denise
; Ennui
; Feng
; Gab
; Gabriel
; Gina
; Gillianne
; Grace
; Jessica
; Janice
; Jayne
; Jing
; Jo
; Jong
; Joyce
; Kaishi
; Melody
; Meiyi
; Mya
; Natalie
; Peiyin
: Sam
; Sarah
; Schala
; Sheralyn
; Shihui
; Shuz
; Shuhan
; Sumomo
; Xue Ying
; Zit
thank you:
my dearest for the presto. =]
mya for the bear and card.
gerry n gil for the lip gloss.
jayne laopo n gil for the piggy.
cher for the nail enamel.
grace for the card.
azlyn mei for the greeting.
grace for the soaps. harhar
gwass for the laces, pouch and gloves(all bright pink) =]=]=]=]
i feel so sad. so little pple to thank. ahaha. nvm. u want ur name up here? simple. heeee. =D
ultimate being:
*go shopping wif grace yayz!
*go out wif grace joyce shu joanna and shihui
*go out wif zhangfan and chinser after her As
*go out wif azlyn
*go out wif gil
*operation durian! =]
*house webbie
*xmas layout nvm...
*chi hol hw
*buy pressies
*workout and train some muscles =]
*interact and guiding
*go iceskating
perhapsperhapsperhaps:
*psl f*c*
*a presto! muax dear.
*funky headphones like his! its koped liao anyway. ahha.
*a phone now i need a line. haish. =]
*green apple lip gloss frm body shop. =] muax gerry!
*adidas body spray.
*wristband
*a sponge. blarh.
*perlini's silver bracelet
*dangly earrings 4 my newly pierced ears. haha.
*brilliant rose. try asking wat it is. =]
*broadband
* that forever friends bear
*a life
Update your links please, and ee you all at the new place. Thank you for all your support @ su_ez.pitas.com.
loved a brilliant rose on Sunday, February 23, 2003 at 08:00 p.m.
its. been a while since ive blogged. its different now. not the actual act but rather the mindset, i believe. I don't know why i started. I guess it was a need to call out to the world, to announce my being, hopefully someone would take notice. I'm not quite sure if that has been fulfilled. But. It's different now. I no longer have this desire to call out, ive accepted a solitary being. It pleases me really. The frivolous, incessant, toally mindless chatter (i.e. gossip) barely attracts me. Another reason why i no longer blog, i hate my vocabulary, or lack, thereof. Ive been trying to refine my language, to search for a style that is pleasant to read. Maybe i shouldnt bother.
Happiness. It's such a transient and ephemeral concept. I just long to be happy. Truly. The nature of my hopes, its utopian, to say the very least. Maybe, maybe things will ameliorate with age. Maybe, maybe things will ameliorate with change.
In my search for the fufillemnt of the aforementioned desire, have my other priorities taken a backseat. i dread to answer my question. but to quote a friend. "u already have an answer in you heart"
Have i lost something i once cherished? She was once, one i cared for. Now? i cannot think of words to put across my emotions. A raise of an eyebrow, a simple shrug. I dont know her anymore.
Just random, senseless mumblings. It's my last post here. the next, will be my new address. Thank You Brandi.
Goodbye pitas. It's been a great one and a half years here. Maybe i'll feel a pang when leaving. but Change. Change might be for the better.
loved a brilliant rose on Monday, February 17, 2003 at 08:11 p.m.
the little girl had a dream.
she wanted to touch a star.
"just one" she whispered. "just one"
but she could never take flight. she could never leave to reach her dream. she did not ask for much, yet she would never get it.
you see, the little girl had cancer.
i will be her star. i will cradle her in my arms and light her path for as long as it may extend. because the little girl deserves the love. because cancer and death should stop no little girl.
i have one simple wish; to be that star in her sky.
loved a brilliant rose on Tuesday, February 11, 2003 at 10:13 p.m.
its really quite simple.
im too tired. friendship popularity is the result of a constant investment of effort to maintain goodwill with specific people. me? mindless chatter bothers me sometimes. im a loner. sometimes i try to rage against the fact. but now. its somewhat an inner peace thing? ive accepted going home alone, shopping alone. and really. it thrills me sometimes. ive found my joy in solitude. really. im happy. especially since i know ive a special someone who knows how to lift my spirits, touch my heart when im tired (im always tired) of being alone.
it's really that simple
we are in love.
(edit)in case you misunderstood me, being in love does not equate love. yeah. i guess you didnt catch that.(/edit)
loved a brilliant rose on Saturday, February 8, 2003 at 10:10 p.m.
(quote)
i wish i had more hours in my day and i wish i had more energy in me. there are so many friendships i wish to maintain, so many things i wish to do, and so many many many things i want to tell you. (the lifestyle of the smart and mug just isn't for me. i want out!)
i cannot juggle everything properly (school, cca, people-relations, family) without losing a bit of myself each time i fall, you understand? i do something and feel guilty about not being able to do the other, and then i try so hard to do both of them because i don't want to feel guilty but ta-ra, i end up not succeeding in ANYTHING. like ARGH!
(/quote)
she has said it nicely for me. im so tired so beat and so damn hungry. just finished ver 3.6 million or sumthing of that lousy poster. at the expense of chem. which im already lagging since. nvm. point is. im not so sure about my priorities anymore. i just couldnt not do the poster tonight. and after its done. i feel like shit. cos i just wont be able to do chem. argh. i wish i could juggle better. i wish i didnt have so many responsibilities. or maybe i just think too much! thank god hes back. the single straw i cling to to stay afloat. but im going to live. no matter what. i will change the world. and i wont die until i have. i dont want to anymore. i hope.
so lost and deluded, this girl
btw. hunger is the world's greatest suffering. i think im kinda lucky. yea i missed out on cny goodies. yea im so hungry because all ive had was porridge all week which i could barely even partake of. but it'll be over. maybe i'll be lucky. maybe i wont and i might be admitted and stuff. but it'll be over. i really pity the starving around the world. the people in our society who just have to go without lunch to save money. or worse. the ethiopian children with their begging eyes. their physical pain is way worse than the 4 ulcers i have now from my lips to my throat. the pain in their soul? unbearable. and yet so so many people, just dont understand. heal the world, make it a better place please dont go to war america. the hunger u will create, in bodies and souls, will turn itself on you.
(EDIT) damn i cant write (/EDIT)
loved a brilliant rose on Tuesday, February 4, 2003 at 11:16 p.m.
i thought i was strong, but, i am weak.
xing nian quai le!
wat a way to usher out the old year! wahheyyy. went bowling. and i won one game! whooo. 127. like mannns. 5 spares and a strike. its like my best game like ever. yayness! and. heehee. nvm. ehh. we. aha.
anyway. i really should stop procrastinating. =p. and stupid cherli. arghs. so bu ji li. i nv got to repay my debts. stupid cherli. jeeshhhh.
loved a brilliant rose on Friday, January 31, 2003 at 06:35 p.m.
i kinda erh dislocated my wrists i tink. so i cant finish the reflections on obs until like im better. oh welll. i tink the memory will stay wif me. i miss chiobu. good night. i hate bandaged wrists. and i dont even have scars.
loved a brilliant rose on Sunday, January 26, 2003 at 09:46 p.m.
goodbye. i hope this will be the last post im making. its silly. dying at obs will be a lil cool? i dunno. im being silly.
so tired. i really want to do it good. i want infusion and sspc to succeed. i just. dont know why nothing seems to go that way? i want to be a good leader. a good student. a good member. and most of all. being a good (g)friend. but. i suck.
we are we are all innocent. love our lady peace. haf to let it go. but. im tainted wether of the flock. see? i still remember shakespeare. a soul damned and cursed. good bye su-e. good bye. i want to die now. before i fully succumb to my misery. before i hurt more people. im sorry sarah. im sorry jayne. im sorry gil. im sorry my dearest first and only love. ex.
loved a brilliant rose on Sunday, January 19, 2003 at 09:16 p.m.
those pretty eyes wont stare no more
those soft lips wont b felt no more.
those strong arms wont wrap around no more.
watever
how worse can it get. plus now there are ants on my keyboard!! and well. i have an attitude problem!! haa! watever is baaaaad.... so is oso baaaad... thanx gil and thx zit for that wonderful insight... watever. i know im being a brat now but im sorry. im not going to give up, im going to destroy myself and i mite as well. wat's the point. no one loves me anyway.
WATEVER
loved a brilliant rose on Monday, January 13, 2003 at 08:39 p.m.
i just want to say. i despise rasism. as in deep seated, hurting rasism.
im doing research for hssrp. stumbled upon sites lets say? its not fair. i really hate killing. really couldnt take the thought of the bombing. how could they actually have it in their heart to be the cause of so much unhappiness and loss. but yet, i know it wasnt their fault, they referring to the muslim community at large. i remembered after the attacks. there was a report of another attack. this time, an american mob ganging up against a defenceless muslim and her children. and that sickened me almost as much as the attack itself. because you can do all your condemnations, all your finger-pointing, your name-calling(axis of evil...). but it doesnt make u better. and acting so cowardly, to attack the woman like that. that didnt make you heroes. basically, what gives you the right to claim superiority over another? what gives you the right to be violent, unfair, or just plain mean to someone else just because they have a different hair/ skin color! and what makes it worse is that some of them, are just... innocent! racism is unfair. racist bast*rds, dont you feel guilty? and racism is not just action, speech and body language for eg sure do count!
then, who said life was fair? alright. anyone who can help with my project. pleaseplease leave a note of sorts. i need individual perspectives. my research topic is Muslims in Singapore.
loved a brilliant rose on Friday, January 10, 2003 at 09:17 p.m.